Well, before I continue with this session, let me give you a little background on my part. What I will be writing about, as a Certified Life Coach, is based directly on the work of Dr. Shad Helmstetter, the founder of the Life Coach Institute. You might have come across one or more of his books, like What to Say When You Talk to Your Self, or Who Are You Really And What Do You Want? Dr. Helmstetter has a 30-year background of solid research in helping people achieve. Throughout his lifetime’s work, he’s learned a lot about what works and what doesn’t—so what I’ve learned from him, has been used successfully with thousands of people in all walks of life, all over the world.
For my part, I’ve been on the road of self-improvement for a good part of my life. I’ve seen that constant and never ending self-improvement is key to personal success, as I’ve often experienced the opposite – not sticking to what works and falling back into habits that neither supported my success or those around me. Consistency seems to be the magic ingredient. Either we consistently do what is necessary to get the results or we consistently don’t. It’s the later of the two that I know created what I did not want in my life. So when did I start to understand that self-improvement was a key ingredient to more success in life? Well, it all began for me when a family friend handed me a CD about 12 years ago. The CD was titled The Laws of Success and Achievement, by Brian Tracy. After listening to the CD – it just made sense. Success in many areas of our lives is possible, if we take the right steps – consistently.
Since then I’ve studied the works of Jim Rohn, Anthony Robbins, Jack Canfield, Dr. Shad Helmstetter, Dr. Stephen Covey, Dr. Deepak Copra, Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, James Allen, and more.
Although I’ve made steady progress each year of my life, in my own personal goals, I’m not done yet. I still feel that I haven’t been able to take my passion, which is coaching and self-improvement into the lives of others and help them achieve more of what they really want as well. I’ve focused on myself and my immediate family to start, and I’ve seen some great results, but only when I’ve consistently applied what works.
For example, just 4 years ago, I weighed 215 pounds. I’m about 5’ 7”, so that was a lot of weight to carry around. I was 35 years old at that time, overworking at my job and not producing the results I wanted in many areas of my personal life. I finally started to apply a lot of what I had been learning. It took almost 2 years, but I slimmed down to 170 lbs. and I didn’t stop there. I also obtained a more challenging job that now pays me almost double of what I was getting paid at that time. Yes, that’s almost 50 pounds and almost 50%. It gave some new meaning to me about the term 50-50.
So how did I do it? I can’t say I did many things differently, but three things made the biggest difference:
- Deciding exactly what I wanted
- Finding the right sequence of events to follow, or a plan that worked
- Consistently following that plan
So, when is the last time you really focused on listening to yourself – to remember who you really are and what you really want from your life? Well, the purpose of this blog will be to use what I’ve learned from my life coach training, and build a tool to assist the reader to find out as much as they can about what they want, and hopefully, assist in making some distinctions of how to get it.
I believe that it doesn’t matter how old you are – if you’re married, single, divorced, have kids, family issues, only a high-school education or even a doctorate – you can improve almost anything in your life by determining what you want in a situation and going to work to get the results.
Life Coaches Ask Questions
As a life coach, I can tell you – that I won’t tell you. I will ask you. I don’t know what’s best for you or for anyone else. The answers all come from you and the life coaching process is what facilitates the process.
So here goes – to get the most out of these posts, I will note where there are activities.
Simply reading these questions will do very little for you outside of temporarily heightening your awareness to the possibility that you can have what you want, however, taking the time to answer them and then following through and taking the necessary action will give you the value. Will your plans always work? Of course not, but then discovering what doesn’t work and making some adjustments to your plan until it does work will give you your own formula for success!
Activity – Vet Yourself
You can copy and paste these questions if you like into One Note, Evernote or a text editor of your choice so you can save your work.
This first series of fundamental questions are designed to build a foundation:
- What is the one thing you like to do most?
- What is the one thing you like to do least?
- What do you like to talk about most?
- What do you like to talk about least?
- What is your greatest strength?
- What is your greatest skill?
- What is your best talent?
- When you were growing up, what was your greatest dream?
- What is your greatest dream, now?
- If you wanted to do any one thing with the rest of your life, what would it be?
- What have you liked most about what you’ve done with your life in the past five years—and why
- What do you like least about what you’ve done with your life in the past five years—and why?
- If you could name any one thing that has been stopping you, or holding you back, during the past year (or several years), what would you say it has been?
- What have you done about that, up until now?
End of activity.
As you begin to reacquaint yourself, to yourself…what are the feelings that you feel, positive or negative? Remember, the past does not equal the future, unless you allow it to. You are in control and can make different decisions to shape your future.
Life Coaching Methodology
As a Life Coach, to help you accomplish what’s important to you, I suggest two specific solutions:
- The use of Active Goal Setting.
- Using positive self-talk audio to reinforce the right kinds of empowering beliefs about yourself.
There would normally be a third step, the accountability factor, and would involve you signing up for payed coaching sessions – so I would guide you through each session and ultimately help keep you accountable. However, can a coach always be there for you? What if you could rely on self-accountability? I believe that we need to be accountable for ourselves to have true success. A coach can help guide, which is why I’m using this blog as a tool – to guide. The clarity, persistence, drive, desire and action have to come from you. It’s like Jim Rohn said, “you can’t hire someone else to do your push-ups for you.” In other words, you have to do the work to get the benefit. You can have a goal to getting healthy and stronger, and know that push-ups are a good idea, but you have to decide to remove the obstacles and do them – and consistently at that. That’s the only way to get the benefit from the push-ups.
Active Goal Setting
The Active Goal Setting process involves:
- Setting the right goal and a due date. (It’s not a goal if there’s not a due date!)
- Identifying the obstacles that are holding you back from achieving that goal.
- Setting Action Steps, with due dates, to work on eliminating those obstacles and make progress.
First of all, we’ve known for a long time that goal-setting was important—but too many people run into unexpected obstacles that throw them off track. This methodology will help so that won’t happen—because Active Goal Setting only works if you’re actively identifying the obstacles between you and your goal, and then coming up with action steps to deal with each obstacle as it comes up, so you keep making progress instead of being blocked along the way.
Next, it’s all well and good to set goals, but unless we take it a step further, we’ll get stopped over and over and not know why. That’s because of our mental programs. What we’ve learned, is that everything we’re told about ourselves from day one, gets programmed into our mental computers and acted on as though it’s true—even when it’s not! We all get programmed with beliefs about ourselves over time that may or may not be true about us. We’re told early on in our lives, what we can and can’t do—and our own mental programs pick up on that and determine what we think we’re able to do later in our lives—or not.
So along with the Active Goal Setting, one of the main tools I suggest as a coach, is listening to the right kind of new Self-Talk programs to help you move past those old roadblocks in your thinking, that keep you from reaching your goals.
When you’ve tried and failed at a goal in the past, it’s probably been a combination of your old programs and also your obstacles that stopped you.
To learn more about positive self-talk you can visit Dr. Shad Helmstetter’s web site or by clicking on the link.
Are you ready? I make no promises and guarantees, however, I do know that in order to be successful, we need to make it happen – we need to find a way. The saying “if it’s to be, it’s up to me,” in my eyes, is very true.
My goal will be to post one “session” if you will, each week to work as a guide. Each week, I will go into a new self-improvement Key Concept that I believe will be useful in helping you hone your success skills.
Until then, one of my mentors, Tony Robbins would say, “Live with Passion!” I too echo that sentiment and believe that to create the life we truly want, we have to “go for it!” Are you willing to do what it takes, and go for it? One thing is for sure – time will surely tell, and as Jim Rohn would say, we have the choice of paying the price now of doing these disciplines, or living with future regret. I’ve learned that paying the price now, and doing the disciplines, are less painful than the heaviness and suppression of future regret. The time will pass and quickly, the choices we make in between that time will ultimately make the difference in the quality of our lives.